Movie Review: 3:33 am: The Witching Hour

A guy named John is sitting in an office with his history being read over. He's being sent to Wellhome, a place known for its mentally challenged occupants. Why is he getting sent there? I don't know. Where did he come from? I don't know, Cotton Eye Joe. I just don't know.

Well, John came out of prison so I'm assuming that the other guy in the office was his probation officer. ??? Maybe ??? He meets with a priest that gives him a Bible and loves hacky-sack.

The Wellhome is beautiful and looks just like some of the houses in Naperville, a neighboring town of ours. The people at Wellhome seem wonderful and fun. Ethel, the woman who runs the joint is severely off her rocker, but is even so just a bit eccentric.

There are ten "souls" living in Wellhome.
1.) John
2.) Nancy, the woman with the doll who sings "people will die" to the house next door.
3.) Sister Mary, the nun who cares for Nancy
4.) Brother Robert, neighbor from the other side of the wall, brother of Bob and brewer of craft beer
5.) Brother Bob, neighbor from the other side of the wall, brother of Robert, and worm farmer
6.) Taffy, the man who ran out the door as fast as "Liberace's panties" to go make some "taffy money"
7.) Tiger Leland, who complains about the shower curtain rod being broken, bent and white just like everyone there.
8.) Swashbuckler #1: Zema
9.) Swashbuckler #2: Starmorph
10.) And super dupey crazy guy who believes he was and still is in the military.

After getting a visit from his old pal Easy Stevie, John is questioned by a detective. Stevie was murdered in the house next door. Someone ripped off his arm and beat him to death with it. Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

I think my favorite character is Mal, the butcher at Dolman's grocery store where John works. He's British and fantastic. For some reason, he carries three pipes in his pocket. You never know when a friend is going to need a pipe. He also makes jokes about his veal actually being child meat.

John keeps seeing strange lights and hearing strange sounds coming from the house next door. One other resident, the black guy, sees them too. He purchases a camera from a very flamboyant man and sets it up for time lapsing shots of the house next door. While he's at the camera store, he learns that his probation officer has been killed. He gets a call from a man named Beverly, who claims to be living in the house next door and knows what he's been doing. In the morning, his camera is dismantled and hanging along with the body of Ethel in the house next door. Things are not looking good for John.

His housemates join him in his room as they all believe he's innocent. Taffy turns out to be the camera shop guy. They don't see anything. John realizes that the phenomenon only happens on weekdays. He brings them back on Monday and they see it.

Sister Mary and the group dig up the history of the house and guess who lived in the house back in the day... my ol' pal Mal. Mal is short for Malecai and sadly, he's not actually English. Sad face. John and his girlfriend Ruby go to Dolman's to talk to Mal, but he has never been seen there. Dun dun duh!

Tiger is killed. The priest and the detective go with John to the house next door, but find no evidence of anyone ever being there. The priest goes back to Wellhome. At 3:33, they see someone standing at the window with something over their head. Beverly calls and asks to talk to the priest. Whatever Beverly said made the priest vomit and run out. The next morning, the priest is found dead and Nancy's doll - pretty much the smartest person in the movie - tells her everything about the town, the house, and the brothers who lived there. The butcher would do the killing, the doctor would sew the pieces together, and the photographer would take photos. It was their art.

Ruby is taken by the doctor, who leaves a note for John. A massive search is started for her, including all the Wellhouse-mates. The detective shows support for John and hangs out in his room. Ruby just randomly shows up and says she's done and she's leaving. Detective and John are mortified when she appears in the window across from them. They run in to find Malecai, Beverly, and the other brother standing over Ruby. Taffy just runs in and takes some pictures of the scene and the brothers disappear. The detective says that the limbs from the victims haven't been recovered. The last shot of the movie is of an art piece with a circle of children holding hands and a bloody-sheet-covered pile in the middle.

It was good. I thoroughly enjoyed the characters in the Wellhouse. They were great. Especially at the end when Brother Robert turned out not to be German at all. Brilliant.

Moral of this movie: Crazy people are usually the best people.

"All will come to those who have forgotten their passions."