My Future

I posted this very detailed look into my future digitally drawn up by my boyfriend before. My little house with a green roof and green shutters, my green car, and my dog. Over a Skype session he mapped out all of the future that I could envision for myself. Four walls, a car, and a dog. No prospects or ambitions. Nothing. All I knew of my future was what's in this picture and that I wanted to be a writer. Not much to go on.

Here I am... ten months into a relationship with the first person who's actually made visions of the future appear in my head. Here I am. Living with my sisters, brother-in-law and nephew still after five years. Back on the hunt for a job so the future that I could never see before can become more than vivid imagery in my head. My future is as real right now as Queen Sarah and Charlie.

Now on top of the house with the green roof and shutters, the green car, and the dog, I can see my boyfriend, my boyfriend's cat, my boyfriend's car in the driveway, coming home from work and dropping my keys on the table (or even one of those pretentious little soap plates people have for their keys), complaining about our days while one of us makes dinner, and then sighing heavily as we sit on the couch in front of the TV. I can see all that now. I know what career I want and that is to be a writer. My career aspirations have never once changed since I was a kid. I have figured out that it's not going to get me my future. I was in my little anxiety-fueled, paracosm-enabled bubble for 23 years. It took an engineer with enough patience to deal with me to make me realize that I actually didn't want to be stuck in my bubble anymore. I want to be very far away from my bubble and wherever he goes. That sounded more clingy than I wanted it to, but it's true.

I have an interview at Steak & Shake on Tuesday. It doesn't sound prestigious, but I don't think I've been this excited about something since... a long time. If I get this job, this will be the beginning. I'll put everything I have into it. The energy I put into Queen Sarah, I will put into this job. My future becoming more than her depends on it.