Movie Review: Hard Ticket to Hawaii

Dingo and I have added a couple more movies to our bank of timeless classics. Hard Ticket to Hawaii was the first movie on our to-watch list and we got to watch it last night. It was even better than expected.

I'm assuming there was supposed to be a plot, but like all great movies, it got lost on the way to the studio. There are a couple of ladies who fly cargo and tourists around. They are scantily clad in every scene, usually in nothing but bikini bottoms. There are two guys. There are a few more people and a snake that has been contaminated by a rat with cancer, because apparently cancer is contagious and a rat passed it onto this snake. Who knew? So there are some more people and more things happen and more women take their tops off.

There was one particular "sex scene" that Dingo and I got a kick out of because they were insinuating that one of the girls (right on the poster with the rocket launcher) was on her knees in front of the guy on the poster. However both of her hands were in full view and she was nearly eye-level with him. It's not that hard to make a sex scene. No pun intended. Naked guy. Naked girl. Some grunting, huffing and puffing, maybe a few squeals here and there. Boom. Done. Physics doesn't really come up as an issue really in most productions. Hard Ticket to Hawaii though had the easiest of jobs (pun very intended), but dropped the ball (also intended).

The snake. Can we talk about this snake? Better yet, here is a picture of the snake with the two physics-confused lovers Donna and Rowdy. And yes. That is a rocket launcher pointed directly at the snake, which is only about five feet away from them.

That's not all they deal with in Hard Ticket to Hawaii. There's also a group of drug/diamond smugglers. There's a guard who likes to play Frisbee and... oh, yeah! All of these people are in a thing called "The Agency". I don't think it was ever explained who or what the agency actually is, but everyone on this island seems to be in it.

Moral of the movie: Um... never wear a top?