Thanks For Your service | Diner Report {1/1 - 1/7}

As promised, here is the second half of my Diner Report. I just got home from a ten-hour shift and realized I totally forgot I hadn't posted it yesterday.

Last week was pretty calm, except for when it wasn't. We had multiple people try to use coupons we don't have. I got into a long conversation with an older woman who decided that she was exempt from the limit one coupon per order rule. We had one guy try to change our special, get mad at me when I wouldn't let him do that, and then tell my coworker than I said I'd give him the special the way he wanted. That was the little stuff.

Everything went haywire on Friday. It started with a guy walking out of the diner with his food. And our basket. My manager had to follow him out to his car and get it back. That was just the lunch hour. Everything kind of went smoothly after that, with the exception of the usual hiccups - like people wanting to create their own coupons or specials. It wasn't until about 6:30 that things got weird. I was getting off at 8 so, I was already in the mindset of going home. This woman walked in, very nice jacket and hat on, with a small black duffel bag. I was taken with the Nightmare Before Christmas stocking she had hanging from it. I was going to tell her how much I loved it when she ordered, but she didn't order. No, she instead asks me about twenty different questions about the menu and seems agitated. She kind of teeters on what she wants before pulling something out of her pocket: a phone and an mp3 player wrapped in a pair of old Apple earbuds. She puts the phone back in her pocket and proceeds to start talking into her mp3 player. She started going off on whoever or whatever she was hearing about her financial woes and how she can't afford to feed herself. I start thinking maybe she had a Bluetooth device that I missed and she was legit talking to someone. All of a sudden, she starts screaming profanities. All of them. She started talking about the damnation of her soul and how she was watching her angel leave her body. That was around the time my manager told me to call the police. I was still trying to take orders, in-diner and on the phone and I was moving double-time to get everyone out because I had no idea what she would do or what was in her bag. As I dialed the police department, the mp3 player was gone and she was just going off, seemingly at her own reflection in our windows. I described the situation to the dispatcher, who could hear her screaming in the background. A very nice policeman showed up about ten minutes later (that time dragged so badly) and he talked with her, calmed her down and walked her out. He came back and let us know that they've encountered her before and she seemed to be off her meds. And then everything sort of went back to normal.

Saturday was filled with stoned idiots, not much different from most days in the diner. I had one delivery in the evening that was put in by someone who sounded like a twelve year old, who was staying at the local Extended Stay. I told the kid it would be over an hour because we had a bunch of deliveries in all directions. Fifteen minutes later, the kid calls and asks where his food is. I have to explain again that we're swamped and it'll be at least another forty-five minutes. Finally his order is up and our driver calls me from the Extended Stay lobby. No one's answering his call and without a room number he couldn't do anything. So I set out trying to find the kid. He answers my call after the fourth ring and I tell him the driver is in the lobby waiting. This punk proceeds to say, "Oh, we don't want it anymore." I was stunned and after a second of silence, the kid says, "Thanks for your service," and hung up on me.

It was 7:50 Saturday night. I'm trying to get my closing procedures done so I can go home and lounge around with Dingo and Benjen. I've literally got my coat on when she walks in, mp3 phone lady. My coworker was luckily working on closing too so I just clocked out and left. I was too tired and too ready for my one day off to deal with another call to the cops.

My schedule for this week {1/8 - 1/14} is a switch from the norm. I worked a ten-hour shift today and work a ten-hour shift tomorrow, I'm off Wednesday, ten-hour shifts on Thursday and Friday and finally a smooth 5 1/2-hour shift on Saturday.