Love: Sarah Barker-style
Kari and Vanessa are about six hours away from being home after driving all the way from Florida. They'll be exhausted beyond belief, but hopefully they'll still appreciate the work that went into making sure the house was ready for they're arrival.
Right now I'm listening to the washer and dryer and inhaling the sweet scent of bleach as my brother-in-law cleans the bathroom.
I've been thinking a lot about love lately. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that Sarah - my lovely frenemy - is making some changes in her life. She's doing a lot of soul searching, which for her is pretty terrifying. She's not the only one who's making huge changes either. A few people in her rag-tag gang will be making changes in the near future.
In ONYX, you'll see Sarah come to a point where she has no idea who to trust. Her enemies have become her friends - or I should say allies - and her friends have become her enemies. She's pretty much struggling to keep a hold on the people she loves. I think Sarah's problem is that no one gets her. When she does something drastic, everyone thinks it's out of character for her, but really no one knows what her character is. The truth is, Sarah doesn't even know her character. In ONYX, I think she's finally realized she doesn't truly know who she is. She comes to the realization that she can't tell where she ends and the others start.
A lot of things happened before Blood Red Roses/Glory Fades and a tiny bit of it has made it onto paper so hopefully in VANITY there will be more light shone on the things that shaped Sarah. The fact that she wasn't the one who gave up her virginity to Paul when she was very young and that she had no friends and didn't have a childhood weren't the only things that jaded her. The "things" she's done have been alluded to many times, but never explained.
The one thing I can say about Sarah is that she does love. She loves very quickly and very deeply and it takes a lot for someone to be deprived of that love. The majority of the things Sarah does are because of love. She will do anything to protect the people she loves, especially her children. For Sarah, loving someone means defending them to the death. She was raised by men who did that for her and she knows no other way. Her parenting skills come directly from her own childhood being raised by Sampsa, Azrael, and Jeremiel. She can seem controlling at times, but everything she does is for her kids. She didn't tell anyone she was being held hostage by a homicidal Abassy because she would have to out her sons in the process.
And she loves the guys too. She's not big on blood relatives because she only has a handful of people in her family that she can rely - a remnant of my own life. She has got a massive extended family though and she loves them and knows them as her family. She has always gravitated more to the men because she just gets along with men better. If it came down to sex, I always thought Sarah was more sexually attracted to women. Her "flirty" attitude with the guys is just how she is with everyone. She doesn't act that way a lot with women - other than Astor - because they make her uneasy. She isn't used to women being around. She was raised by men with her four male friends so she doesn't have much experience with women as a friend. Women have either been lovers or have tried to kill her. Two perfectly good reasons to be a bit wary of them I think.
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| Love is like a piece of art work; even the smallest bit can be so beautiful. |
Right now I'm listening to the washer and dryer and inhaling the sweet scent of bleach as my brother-in-law cleans the bathroom.
I've been thinking a lot about love lately. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that Sarah - my lovely frenemy - is making some changes in her life. She's doing a lot of soul searching, which for her is pretty terrifying. She's not the only one who's making huge changes either. A few people in her rag-tag gang will be making changes in the near future.
In ONYX, you'll see Sarah come to a point where she has no idea who to trust. Her enemies have become her friends - or I should say allies - and her friends have become her enemies. She's pretty much struggling to keep a hold on the people she loves. I think Sarah's problem is that no one gets her. When she does something drastic, everyone thinks it's out of character for her, but really no one knows what her character is. The truth is, Sarah doesn't even know her character. In ONYX, I think she's finally realized she doesn't truly know who she is. She comes to the realization that she can't tell where she ends and the others start.
A lot of things happened before Blood Red Roses/Glory Fades and a tiny bit of it has made it onto paper so hopefully in VANITY there will be more light shone on the things that shaped Sarah. The fact that she wasn't the one who gave up her virginity to Paul when she was very young and that she had no friends and didn't have a childhood weren't the only things that jaded her. The "things" she's done have been alluded to many times, but never explained.
The one thing I can say about Sarah is that she does love. She loves very quickly and very deeply and it takes a lot for someone to be deprived of that love. The majority of the things Sarah does are because of love. She will do anything to protect the people she loves, especially her children. For Sarah, loving someone means defending them to the death. She was raised by men who did that for her and she knows no other way. Her parenting skills come directly from her own childhood being raised by Sampsa, Azrael, and Jeremiel. She can seem controlling at times, but everything she does is for her kids. She didn't tell anyone she was being held hostage by a homicidal Abassy because she would have to out her sons in the process.
And she loves the guys too. She's not big on blood relatives because she only has a handful of people in her family that she can rely - a remnant of my own life. She has got a massive extended family though and she loves them and knows them as her family. She has always gravitated more to the men because she just gets along with men better. If it came down to sex, I always thought Sarah was more sexually attracted to women. Her "flirty" attitude with the guys is just how she is with everyone. She doesn't act that way a lot with women - other than Astor - because they make her uneasy. She isn't used to women being around. She was raised by men with her four male friends so she doesn't have much experience with women as a friend. Women have either been lovers or have tried to kill her. Two perfectly good reasons to be a bit wary of them I think.
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